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User talk:Burnandbleed
Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. | creepypasta.wikia.com | [[User:Underscorre|'Under']][[User talk:Underscorre|'Scorre']] | Underscorre (talk) }} 15:41, March 13, 2015 (UTC) RE: Hey Burnandbleed, I think what was said was that your story needed revision and re-working, not resizing. Empy's left a lot of ways you can improve it at your deletion appeal. If you're still wondering about how to improve it after that, I would reccomend reading your story aloud to someone else - it really helps you to notice errors and awkward wording. If you don't have the time/patience to read it aloud to someone, try posting it to our writer's workshop, where you can get help on reworking it. | creepypasta.wikia.com | He's not the messiah! He's a very naughty boy! | [[User:Underscorre|'Under']][[User talk:Underscorre|'Scorre']] }} 13:52, April 10, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story How exactly are fragmented sentences synonymous with mental illness? That seems like an odd method of elaborating on mental illness especially considering a majority of people suffering from mental illness are more than capable of speaking coherently and completely. I also gave multiple other reasons for the story's deletion ranging from wording issues, overuse of ellipses, and story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:43, April 10, 2015 (UTC) Re: 515 Your story falls into a lot of generic plot points. "This is a true story.", "He offered us the LP for free. We kindly declined and attempted to leave. He didn't let us. He just kept pushing. We realized that he wouldn't leave us alone if we didn't take it, so we took it, went back to our car, and drove back to K's house.", etc. Check the cliche list for more examples. Wording issues: "That horrific''squish''of the meat breaking..." Ripping/tearing works, but breaking doesn't as it's pliable/flexible. "His eyes were bloodshut (bloodshot)", "Me and K were just shocked at what we just saw." K and I... is the correct usage. The big issue with it lies in story issues: "Blood was dripping all over the place. As he turned pale and slowly died, he gradually made the most bloody, demented grin I have ever seen." Why exactly are they just watching this happen and why do they keep bringing it to analysts if they all have the same reaction and turn up no results. "If I ever find the track, I'll upload it here." to this "I just know that I won't show it to anyone again." This is pretty big contradiction with no explanation/reasoning. Story issues cont.: "I might never find the real backstory behind that track." Real backstory implies that there was some other background information that wasn't shared when there was none. It feels like you glossed over that concept. Finally, this really feels like a lost episode pasta version of LTS. It uses the same cliches and the wording, contradictions, and story issues that render it below quality standards as the story has been up for over a year and these issues were pointed out in the comments, the story has been deleted under housekeeping. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:51, June 19, 2015 (UTC) :You'd have to do a deletion appeal and I would strongly suggest taking it to the writer's workshop before then as you need to think of ways to really tweak the premise and resolve a number of issues that were present in the plot and some community assistance/feedback might help out on that front. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:48, June 22, 2015 (UTC)